Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Another first under our belts...

"My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never have to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, 
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too...
Yeah, this, is my wish." 
- Rascal Flatts

He woke up just after 7. He was in a good mood. He wanted to watch Little Einsteins and have some toast for breakfast. Sometime between the day before yesterday and today, the bread went bed, so I made him a bagel. It wasn't to his liking, so then I made him an english muffin, which by the grace of God, satisfied him. 

He built a pirate ship with his blocks. I got him washed and brushed and dressed. He insisted his shirt made him look fat, but didn't request a different one. He asked me 10,000 times when it was time to go to the bus stop. 

Sean was more than ready for his first day of Kindergarten. 

I was the one having major some issues.

I hated putting him on that bus, saying goodbye, knowing I wouldn't see him for the entire day. I've had the privilege of being with him every day, all day for the past 5 years. He went to preschool last year, but he was gone a total of 3 hours and even that was a huge adjustment.

Imagine walking around all day without your right arm. You could manage, you could get around ok...but it would be a challenge, it would be uncomfortable. That's how I felt all day today. A huge important part of me was missing and as crazy as he drives me at times, I found it hard to function without him.

I fretted all day about whether or not he was okay. If he'd have trouble in the bathroom, if he'd eat his lunch...if he'd find the smell of the chicken nuggets offensive and have a meltdown in the cafeteria. Maybe it's because I'm a control freak, but I hate not knowing what goes on in every minute of his day.

I managed not to start crying until after he was on the bus and driving away. Every fiber of my being wanted to scoop him up and bring him home.

Being a Mom involves a lot of goodbyes...from the moment your child leaves your womb until they grow up and leave your house, it's one goodbye after another. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to him everyday...with each new accomplishment I say goodbye to a little piece of him that was and meet more of the boy he's becoming. 

Dear God, it's all happening too fast. Help me to slow myself down and remember just how precious each day is.

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